ENOUGH: THOUGHTS ON WORTHINESS
I could think of a million reasons...excuses why I didn’t start this blog years ago. I don’t have enough knowledge for anyone to care about what I have to say. I don’t know enough about high fashion for people to take my style seriously. I don’t have time to write for free. I don’t have enough influence to make an impact. I don't have enough cool, enough experience, enough beauty. And this is all cultural. We live in a world where there is never enough, or more importantly, we are never enough.
As God continues to grow me, day by day I’m breaking out of that cycle. Of the never ending pursuit of wanting more, of chasing other people’s dreams, of craving worldly validation, of diminishing my self-worth, of trying to be enough. I’m learning that everyday I have the opportunity to choose to live for more. I can stay trapped in the cycle of unworthiness, or I can live through the eyes of Christ. Clothed in His righteousness and crowned with His love. So daily I'm choosing to remove the old garments, the old way of thinking, living, and doubting and instead let Christ's grace cover me. I'm choosing to live as if the Maker of the Universe has said that I am His beloved. I am qualified. I am accepted. And I know I will fall, and I will forget this, and I will feel unworthy again. But then I’ll get up. And I’ll remind myself that worthiness is not something I chase. It is His Spirit, inside of me, that has been there all along.
Sharing thoughts like this open me up to a type of vulnerability that I have never been comfortable with. But this type of discomfort, I’m learning, is growth. Fear of being exposed, of being found out, fear of people knowing that you too are insecure, and unsure, and confused, this is where the devil holds so many of us hostage. I read something from an author I am growing to admire, Leeana Tankersley. She said, “scared and sacred are practically the same word on first glance. Is it possible that when we are at our most scared, we just might be on sacred ground?”
Verse to live by: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God. And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
2 Corinthians 10:5